The Co-operative (not) food

I seriously hate The Co-operative food stores. I live in Bristol, BS9, there are 3 co-op stores within a 20 minute walk of me.

The worst store is 5 minutes away, the next worst store is 10 minutes away, the least worst is 20 minutes away. But they’re all totally shite.

If I want groceries like last minute bread or milk, a bit of my soul dies. I didn’t really have much choice before, if I realised Issy didn’t have any milk for bed time, if it was a week day I could get 4 pints and be back home in 15 minutes if I used the store 5 minutes away. It has rubbish opening hours for the weekend, so on a Sunday it’s a 30 minute round trip.

The problem is on foot I’ve no choice but to go to these very badly run, managed and stocked “shops”. Other than the co-op I’d have to take a 25 minute hike up Parry’s lane to get to Waitrose.

Now I have a car again, I will kill trees in order to avoid the co-op. I am much happier paying a few pence to drive to Sainsbury’s, Tesco or Waitrose, in my un-economical car than to go to the co-op.

Here is a list of why the co-op is so bad:

  • The tills in EVERY store I’ve been to have been badly laid out and awkwardly placed
  • A large percentage of the staff seem to be lazy, unfriendly and stupid
  • One of the co-op checkout ladies in the Sea Mills branch was doing shopping after she finished her shift, and she queue jumped in front of me with a massive basket of crap, when I only had a loaf of bread and milk to buy. If queue jumping wasn’t enough… SHE BLOODY WORKED AT THE STORE!
  • Their food quite often contains random stuff that shouldn’t be in there… seriously, lot’s of gristle, chewy bits… nasty stuff
  • When Holly worked there (she isn’t lazy, unfriendly or stupid by the way) they asked her EVERY week to work shifts she told them in the interview she COULD NOT WORK. HOW STUPID ARE THE MANAGERS!
  • Holly’s first (and only, she quit) pay cheque was a totally random amount… more than her basic hours, less than her total including overtime… it made NO SENSE AT ALL!

So anyway some people might blather on about it being fair trade and all but it’s not… fair trade means FAIR, as in balanced, even, positive for all parties involved.

The co-op food store may pay nice prices to the suppliers, but they then rip off the customer! Co-op prices are stupidly, incorrectly overpriced and the products are poor quality. And the service is SHITE! TOTAL UTTER SHITE PANTS!

So, as usual, because of where I live, the only open shop nearby was The crap-op (did you see what I did there :D). So I went there, and thought to myself “I’ve been paid this week, and the food here is shit. So I’ll buy their more expensive ham, to make up for their awful quality.”

I got home, started making my sandwiches for work tomorrow, and opened the first packet of ham that I bought. This is the 25th March, the sell by date on the ham is the 30th. It looks like a Yin and Yang symbol:

The first picture shows the nice pink meat, visible through the clear panel. The second shot reveals the horrible bruised yellow dry looking meat that was hidden beneath the packaging. So I sighed to myself, threw the packet to the side and opened the second pack with a use by date of the 5th of april.

This stuff looks like spam crossed with a placenta, and a massive lump of snot in the middle. It’s totally disgusting NOT truly irresistable. It really is the opposite of irresistable. I not only “resisted” it, I was repulsed by it and thus rejected it.

So, I’m complaining to co-op, I do hope to get my £4.50 back, and I will be driving further afield to visit Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Waitrose or maybe even ASDA.

I, really do hate, The Co-operative Food.

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