Zombie and Bomb madness

It’s about time I had an excellent dream again, well I have them every day but they’re getting harder to remember.

This one happened a couple of days ago, but here we go…

It was late at night, I was running through the panicked streets of a generic city center, I was with Holly, and possibly some extras as well. There were zombie hordes chasing many panicked people around. I was doing some awesome Taekwondo moves on them, and we were running through the crowds.

We rounded a corner and saw a large horde of Zombies at the end of the road, I spotted a conveniently parked and easy to hot wire BMW E46 330i coupe. Me and Holly jumped in, and I started driving through the Zombies, it was actually rather calm now. We locked the doors and the Zombies just moved out the way as I drove slowly to safety.

The next thing I remember is being on a forested hill side, up away from the Zombie infested city. I was on my own now, doing some awesome ninja stealth moves to creep through the trees and avoid the Zombies that seemed to have set up a camp in the forest.

I was trying to get to a derailed train in a valley on the other side of the hill. The train was very derailed, there were no rails involved in the scene at all. I got to the train, and Holly was there, as well as some posh people, and they were all being held hostage. I spotted one of the captors planting a bomb in the toilet on the derailed train, HE WAS GOING TO BLOW US ALL UP!

The next part of the dream I was up on the other side of the valley with the derailed train at the base, about to explode. It was sitting behind a stone wall, above the entrance to a small cave. The train exploded, but it’s ok, it was like a simulation. No one was hurt. The rest of the hostages were with me, and I explained my new plan to them.

We were back on the train again, and I snuck to the loo, flirting my way past a female captor. I pretended to use the loo, but I was really placing the explosive device in my inside pocket… despite wearing a hoody.

Moments later, we were back up the hillside sitting behind the stone wall, and I’d placed the bomb inside the small cave beneath us. Soon, the bomb would explode, but be contained inside the cave. Our captors would think us destroyed, and we’d rush down the hill and kick them all in the face!

The bomb exploded, fire flooded down the hill and wrapped around the train, and then I woke up.

Good times.

Awesome dreams!

Ok I’ve been pretty lax on the dreams recently… so I’m going to try and write these down before I forget. They’re both a bit hazy.

So the first one, I remember being on some long corridor in an office building and this young boy was wearing a suit and tie, riding a trike a long. He was probably about 14ish?

I could hear him “narrating” the scene, talking about how he was the boss of the company and he could do what he wanted and no one really cared. He pulled an uzi out from his jacket, and just started shooting the odd office employee here and there as they walked along the corridor. Other employees didn’t seem to mind.

Anyway, I came bounding up the corridor behind him like a cross between Beast from the Xmen, Spiderman and Neo, I did some crazy acrobatic stuff and then started shooting at him.

Every shot I fired missed… despite me being some awesome ninja type, I couldn’t shoot straight at all. Our gun fight continued along the corridor for a while, before a load of “I, Robot” style robots appeared and started fighting me, so the young CEO escaped.

I was now with 2 companions in the corridor, and I was defending them from the robots as we tried to escape. I got cornered after my friends escaped, and like Will Smith in the film I, Robot… one of them started smashing my arm with a metal pipe, but instead of me having a robotic arm, it kind of transformed into Iron Man’s arm.

I made some Will Smith-esque smart ask comment, smashed the robot with a good solid punch, and then escaped the office building.

I climbed over some awkward little brick wall and ran through a public carpark into a pedestrian only high street area, where a big space ship thing appeared and started scanning the crowd searching for me.

I then turned completely into Iron Man and started flying round with the space ship chasing me. I was trying to get it to crash into a building as it chased me…again like Will Smith does in Independence Day when the alien ships chase his fighter jet.

I soon realised I was being very irresponsible in a busy high street, putting the public at risk, so I changed back to Peter, and snuck of unnoticed.

I found Holly and some of our friends sleeping in “our” campervan back in the public car park, and I passed Sienna Miller on the way who was also camping near us in a very similar camper.

True story.

Then a few days later I had this other cool dream…

I was a POW in this crazy huge Nazi airship thing. It was a little bit like something out of Captain America (the new one). Anyway, I was plannig my escape, I was reasonably comfortable in my “prison”, it was more like a hotel and I could wonder freely to the bathroom and chat to the other prisoners in their rooms. We even had like a balcony garden thing that we could all visit. Very nice.

Holly was a double agent working for the Nazis, and would occasionally pop in to see me and we’d discuss my escape plans. I can’t really remember much else about this one, but I remember opening a panel up in the bathroom floor and looking down at the ground thousands of feet below.

I think I managed to escape the prisoner block, and get into a hanger inside the airship. I’m not sure how or what I was flying, but I remember being chased through the sky by Nazi fighter planes as I plummeted to the ground.

I was kind of flying like Iron Man again, but I definitely wasn’t Iron Man that time. I think I was just flying… in my jeans and tshirt.

So some good fun hollywood action movie based dreams for you there.

And this post concludes my blog-a-thon for the week. I think that’s 4 posts in a day.

V8 face punching antics

I had a dream sometime last week, and it’s taken me a while to get around to writing it up, but it was really rather entertaining so I thought I’d better still post it.

I can’t remember how it all started, as is often the case with a dream, but I remember I was lucky enough to have been stupid enough to just go ahead and get myself a Vauxhall VXR8 on finance. Which was excellent.

It was a shiny Bathhurst S edition, in white with the black, off-center go faster stripes. It was a lovely sunny day, and I was picking up Alex Long to go down to Brighton with him, for Mark and Marie’s flat warming.

I decided to share my good fortune and give Alex the first drive, after all I’d get to drive it loads. In reality, I wouldn’t let anyone else drive it, that would be stupid.

Anyway, so Alex jumped in, put his foot to the floor, made loads of smoke from the back tyres and immediately started trying to do hand brake turns.

I become instantaneously furious and begin punching him right in the face from the passenger seat. Alex told me to stop punching him, I told him to stop driving my car so badly – that was my job.

After quite a lot of punching, I told him to pull over and get out. He exited the car, I climbed over to the driver’s seat, and Alex got in the passenger seat.

We set off again for Brighton, but after a couple of minutes I decided it was necessary to continue punching Alex in the face, so he decided to do the same back to me. With all the punching, I’d forgotten to pay attention to driving.

We were now doing 140 MPH going down Langshot Lane in Horley towards the Farmhouse Pub.

Alex and I decided to make our own way to Brighton separately. I parked up my car, and started walking to work (apparently I was no longer going to Brighton). After I’d taken a few steps away, I turned and looked at the car, pleased that I finally owned one, but one though rang through my head. “Shit. Holly’s going to kill me”.

I walked to work, got to my desk, and sitting on the desk was a scale model, about 2 feet long, of my car. Except it wasn’t a model, it was my actual car. That was my car, it was just only 2 feet long.

My colleague Alex Kenny came in the room, looked at the model and said “Have you finally bought one!”. To which I replied yes, and then asked for a lift back up the road to collect it, because I’d accidentally parked it somewhere that wasn’t at work.

So, mainly this dream doesn’t make sense, apart from the fact that I want a VXR8. And sorry Alex Long, for dream punching you. You punched me back too! So maybe you deserved it!

Double Dream

I had a very long and mad dream last night, unfortunately I can’t remember all the details so I’ll have to bullet point it

  • I had returned to service on a massive warship, like battlestar galactica and we were flying really high up but still in the atmosphere. I was on a flight deck talking to my old war buddies about being back on the team. We were preparing to go out on some training excercises but we were going to be flying Iron Man style suits
  • The next thing I remember is being in a jail, and a booming voice from no where announced they were going to fill the prison with a thick fog and unlock all the doors. The speaker of the voice also warned the inmates not to attempt to touch the him when he appeared, or he’d kill them. From inside my cell I could see the thick gas fill the corridors and creep imto my cell, everything went hazy and from the end of the corridor outside my cell I could make out the shape of a massive floating head with tentacles as a goatee. He went into a control booth and unlocked all the external doors, then came up to my cell and opened the door. He turned away and dissapeared out a fire exit, followed by some prisoners who’d been out in the corridor.
  • After being busted out of jail by the mysterious floating head I’d met up with a couple of old friends who were going to take me back up to the ship I’d come from. The next thing I remember I was back on the flight deck of the ship from earlier repeating the start of the dream. It was like pulp fiction going backwards and forwards telling different parts of the story. We suited up on the flight deck and then launched off the deck and into the sky, and just flew around the now shiny and golden battlestar galactica chasing each other and playing in the sky
  • I can’t remember how this all fits in but there were some talking badgers that barked like dogs, and they were viscious although some of them were on leads and being kept as pets. I think they had something to do with the Iron Man suit war thing, like another allied party.

In other good news Holly and I just played the animal hospital disco remix to Isabelle and after a minute of increasing fascination in the tune she gave a little smile, as it started again on repeat. It’s always a good thing when a baby smiles at the animal hospital theme.

Dave Grohl stole my speed boat

While he definately didn’t do that, this dream inspired that title

So I had a peculiar dream. I was in a corridor in a hotel and there was an after party going on in one of the rooms. I was hanging around with a group of my friends and we were trying to get in. Suddenly the door of the room opened and Dave Grohl appearred and made a toungue in cheek public service announcement about the ‘to the camera’, but I can’t remember what his announcement was, but as he was talking I looked past him and saw Taylor Hawkins on a sofa under a pile of women. Dave shut the door and then moments later appearred in black suit and straight tie, which we were all now rdressed in as well and we all got in a lift to go on a secret mission.

The next thing I remember is being in a tropical sea side resort town. As I was walking toward the beach with some friends we saw a guy and a girl nick 2 bikes and cycle off with them. Then I think it was Pros who had suddenly got a secret map about some treasure, maybe family heritage or welsh national treasure’s, something personal to him. He wouldn’t share the secrets of the map with me and I chased him along a pontoon and he jumped on a wakeboard and his prearranged driver towed him off to the secret island. I spotted other boat/wakeboard combos but none of them had a driver to chase pros while towing me. Then I realised I could just drive the boat myself… Except for one problem, I had my phone in my pocket and I didn’t want to get it wet.

I started walking back to my flat to put my phone down, and bumped into Sarah and Dixie on the way. Sarah asked if I could look after her phone while her and Dixie went exploring. I gave her directions into town and went on my way. When I got home I was placing my phone and Sarah’s on my desk when I realised I’d somehow picked up a 3rd phone that was exactly the same as mine. I looked on the phone’s desktop and it had loads of porn on it. Before I had time to discover who the porn phone belonged to, I saw Dixie and Pros chasing 2 guys who were nicking bikes from outside someone’s house. One of the guys we’d seen doing it earlier. I ran out my flat, now bare foot, and went to backup Pros and Dixie, who were now out numbered 3 to 2. I arrived and evened out the odds… And then woke up.

If your wee looked like a horse, it would speak to you of course!

Another dream, or bits of a dream, as much as I can remember…

I can’t fully remember what I was doing but I was with all my Bristol friends at a social occasion and I had to leave as Fredel was leaving and I needed a lift home. We walked to her car and there was bread all over it and on the path around it, and a wandering pack of turkeys had found the bread and were sitting all over her car, so I had to clear the turkeys away. Not a problem, I’ve some experience dealing with turkeys so I began move them and the bread away.

When there were only a few left we opened the doors and got in the car, however on entering the car we discovered that some had got inside with us. There were a couple in the front hanging out by the gear stick, and 2 in the back. For some reason I though it would be best if I picked up the turkey by the neck and then opened the door and put it on the floor outside, by which time the poor fella’ was coughing and spluttering from me choking it, so I felt very bad. So the next one I picked up under the arm pits and I realised that his baby turkey, was wearing a bunny outfit. Very cute.

We set off on the journey home, and pulled into a service station so I could have a wee. As my urine entered the toilet bowl it made a oil-slick like pattern on the top of the water which resembled a horse. The urine-slick horse then told me(in a london thug accent) that my urine was unhealthy, and I should eat some McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets with Ketchup and Soy Sauce on them! He than galloped off around the u-bend, and I believe I then woke up.

There were some things that happened before all that, but I can’t remember them now! Good times.

25th birthday awakening

I’ve spent the last 4 days celebrating my birthday and yesterday, Sunday 28th February, was my actual birthday. I’ve had a wicked time and I’d like to thank everyone for all the awesome times/presents/wishes I’ve had/received during this time.

Now on the Saturday night I was having a dream, I can’t remember all of it but I remember trying to get a cricket/grasshopper thing out of my brother’s old room in my current house, but for some reason I was trying to get it out through the crack under the bedroom door using a 2m long piece of paper and kind of using it like a gentle snow plough. I wasn’t having much luck and as I went to open the door, thinking that might be easier, I was startled in real life and awoken from my dream, much to the amusement of Holly who was feeding Isabelle whilst I slept.

Isabelle had done quite a loud fart and I happened to be sleeping only a few inches away from her bottom. I woke up, made some panicked noises, and told Holly “I was having a little trouble persuading a cricket to leave Dave’s bedroom”. Laughter ensued, and I pretty much laughed myself back to sleep.

And before anyone comments, the night time routine is I change Issy then Holly feeds her, that’s why I was asleep while Holly was awake! I was also recovering from my 2 day birthday bender from before hand.

Old man’s day of the triffid-cranes

Tuther night I was fortunate enough to have a dream.

Twas the night before last, and I happened to be a 50 year old man cycling home from a late night paper round. I (as in real me) seemed to be narrating the story to myself in my dream state, but I was also the 50 year old main character. Confused? Excellent.

Anyway whilst cycling home I could see the a silhouette of a man being picked up rather violently by a crane. As I cycled around the corner of the road I could see a group of massive insect/triffid hybrid things skewering people and flinging them across the landscape.

I (who was now actually me and the narration had stopped) ditched my bike and clambered through a hedge row, as the triffid’s came running town the road. I lay perfectly still as they ran past, but then a group of little triffid things (that looked like the wierd dog thigns from the jungle in avatar) diverted off their path, through the hedgerow and ran across the field in front of me. I was terrified but they didn’t seem to notice me and kept running away. Just as they reached the other side of the field, one of them turned around, spotted me, and started barking and running back with the rest in tow.

Frozen with terror a lay watching as the little rascals scampered towards me with the intent of devouring me. Luckily a group of freedom fighters/triffid killer type people jumped through the hedge and held back the onslaught with Ak-47s, they dragged me back through the hedgerow, which seemed to close up behind us stopping the triffid’s from coming through.

I walked through the night with the mercenary types, who were mostly annoyed that they had to waste their time saving civilians, except one woman who was more friendly and told me just to ignore the others. When we got back to their HQ, which was once a school, they were disappointed to discover that all the people they had rescued had spread the word and their HQ was now flooded with people looking for somewhere safe to stay under the defence of the triffid-killer people.

The moaning men where now angry and frustrated but new they couldn’t turn them away, and the nice woman was now worrying about running out of supplies and not having enough room for everyone. I tried to calm everyone down, told them we’d find more food and we could expand the perimeter of the school, even set up tents on the roof…

and then I woke up.

True story.

It’s been too long

The events of last night are as follows:

  • My 70’s style detective colleague and I were making a high speed getaway from something, somewhere, after making an arrest. The getaway was along a shallow stream, shallow, but wide enough for a red 70’s style muscle car.
  • Suddenly we were driving through a city, jumping over ramps in order to smash through cigarette adverts on top of traffic lights, because you got more points for hitting them, because cigarettes are bad.
  • The last ramp was now being viewed from a top down, 2d Original-GTA style, very pixelated point of view. I slammed on the brakes and the car skidded to a halt on the wooden board walk/pier type thing that run up to the ramp, that jumped into a lake
  • After getting out of the car, and now being back in the ‘real world’ sort of view, I realised I was in Sarah Michelle Gellar’s bedroom. She entered the room, and tried to seduce me. I almost gave in, but instead managed to convince her to join the fight against the crime syndicate I was trying to bring down.
  • With Sarah Michelle Gellar now on the team, she ceased to appear in the dream. I was now seated in the front of a black van, with my (now different) 70’s style detective partner, and in between us was some sort of criminal type, driving the van which had the steering wheel dead centre.
  • I passed some alcohol to the evil driver, after taking a swig myself, and then my colleague did as well. But little did the evil driver know, the alcohol was spiked with a knock out drug! I quickly took the antidote as the driver went delirious and started behaving like a dozy toddler. I gave him a fold out toy steering wheel and slide his chair back so he could pretend he was still driving, and I took over, and passed the antidote onto my colleague.
  • Suddenly I got all dozy as well and the bad guy snapped out of his daze, and shouted “You’ll get us all killed!”, the van swerved a lot, and we ended up off the road driving along a shallow stream/river.
  • A red american 70’s muscle car drove past us in the opposite direction. The bad evil guy was now another fellow detective, and I asked the question “Have we gone back in time?”, to which my colleague replied, “Yes, 10 years back to when we arrested that guy”
  • We were now going back to the scene of the arrest (despite it only just happening) to find something that had been left there. When we arrived…. we saw the red 70’s American muscle car again, but kept our distance as we couldn’t bump into ourselves in the past.
  • It was late evening, there was a cafe nearby and there was some live music being played outside. The now 4 of us, I shook the hand of our leader, “G” (who I think might have looked like Mac from Green Wing), and then did a forward roll down the hill toward the cafe. I turned back and went towards the others who were throwing a hand gun between us trying to decide who should have it. I jumped up in the air, caught the gun and tried to put it down my waist band in such a way that if it accidentally went off it wouldn’t shoot my penis.
  • Next, we were all settling down for a night of sleep in the local church hall’s mezzanine floor, and Apu, a young guy who happened to be pregnant, was introducing us to his father. Suddenly I realised, that Apu was a guy, and shouldn’t be pregnant, so I said “Hang on, Apu is a guy, how is he pregnant. And how does he have Holly’s baby in him anyway?” To which someone replied “No, Holly’s still pregnant as well”. So I said ok, and went to sleep.
  • I awoke outside a castle, sleeping on a board walk, in my boxers. I saw the entire village population walking from the nearby church to the castle. I picked up my phone, wallet and stereo front, and ran inside to look for my clothes.
  • Stewie Griffin was king, and apparently we were all his friends and that is why we were there, to help him defend his lands in a war/something with these evil people that are the general bad guys in this dream. Stewie sent some of my friends away, and told me and this slightly porky girl to go and get everyone’s clothes from the church. I was now fully dressed, and this girl was for some reason wearing a prom dress.
  • We found a half height door leading into the church with a spiral staircase just inside. But it was a very narrow staircase. I had to lay on my belly and drag myself up using my arms, and I was now very inconveniently wearing a rucksack. As I struggled up the stairs, I worried to myself “How will that girl make it up here?!”
  • When I got to the top, I was now in a big sort of empty hall, like a big empty museum, on a large metal staircase/bridge structure. At the bottom there was a middle-aged blonde woman shouting “Peter, you need to keep moving really quickly to make it across this bridge!”. I turned around and studied the odd metal structure, which appeared to be 3 metal spiral staircases, that eventually led to a platform with 2 gates to get onto it, then 2 gates at the other end, and 3 metal spiral staircases to get back down. It seemed, entirely pointless.
  • As I was about to go up the second staircase (a little bit faster as advised) some people ran in the room and shouted “NO! DON’T GO UP THERE!! DON’T LET IT OUT!”. I looked back up on the platform and saw an old man on the platform, then he saw all the shouting and saw me, and ran to the gate on the platform. He looked very excited and started rattling the gate…
  • Then I woke up.

True story

Peanut Butter Polar Bear

This happened a little while ago so I can’t remember the exact details, so I’ll bullet point it for you… who ever you are… Oh it was a dream I had

I moved into a new bedroom, and after putting everything away had some spare space on top of a chest of drawers, so I built a lego village on top of it.

Next… I was wondering around Hyrule (from Zelda games) and walked into some caves, and had to fight them Skeleton things, first one, then 2 at a timeThey killed me, but I just respawned and walked back to the cave. I got to the entrance, and instead of going in I shouted “WANKER!” down the tunnel, to draw them out. I head some shuffling and saw some shadows move, and then a large Polar Bear Teddy came up the tunnel, his snout covered in Peanut butter. He was a friend of mine, he’s a little slow, not quite all their in the head, and we get chatting.

Suddenly he was the Bear from The Golden Compass and we walk back to his little cottage in the forest, where I show him my map and where I’ m trying to get to. He started showing me where I needed to walk, then start telling me about how his cottage was positioned so that the sunlight in the morning wouldn’t blind you coming through the windows, which was imortant if you were in the middle of a battle. Then he encouraged me to go and play rugby with him and all his friends, the bear became my old friend David Skingley, and then Holly and Rachel turned up, and declared they needed rescuing as they were Princesses, but I had to tell them I was too busy and had to play rugby.

Finally, for some reason, instead of walking to a rugby game, I was walking with Pros, Fredel and Pros’ sister, who had recently got her helicopter licence. We were looking for a place to land a helicopter in a clearing in the forest, and got distracted by a zipline assualt course, and started running along pulling the zip line seats, which would resonate as some one along the line rode on them, to the point where standing under them would kill you as you got pulverised by them.

So yeah, dream, makes little sense. Good times.

And clearly, I’ve taken out the bullet points. For that, I apologise.